I have only been a “member” of two churches in my life. I grew up in what was then considered a little rural country church up in the northwest corner of NC. Now my family and I have our own church home. While in college I was a “watch care member” of one of the Baptist churches near the University but I never fully joined.

In a touch of what I think is a statistical oddity, I realized recently that somewhere in the next couple of months (not sure of dates here) my life in terms of years of church membership will have been split evenly between two churches. My “home church” baptized me at age nine, and I was a ember there for 15 years until transferring my letter, at age 24, to my current church home. Now, at age 39, I’ve been a church member here for 15 years as well.

To say the split is exactly even is a touch unfair. My Mom and Dad were taking me to church long before I could possibly have understood what it meant to be a member of anything. For 9 years, I was part of the church family, before I “could be” part of its membership. But I digress.

This whole statistical oddity came to my attention during a meeting at church. We are in the beginning stages of a capital campaign where we are tasked to raise a staggering sum of money to do some building maintenance, some upgrades, and new construction as well. We have hired a “capital campaign consultant” and it was something he said that prompted me to think this way. He encouraged us to think “as members of this church family” about what the “impact of this campaign” would have on the church, the community, and the kingdom of God.

It is a predictably thought provoking statement, one I should have (and did) see coming. But the consultant was careful to go back and make a distinction between “member of the church” and “member of the church family.” He made this comment - as I suggested very specifically - almost in passing, just adding that we’d “need all those who come (to church) regularly to give” whether they were church members or not.

And my mind (sorry fellow team members) jumped off track at that point. Our denominational heritage, one on which I firmly stand proudly, has taught us to value “church membership.” We have carefully defined what that means, and though many autonomous Baptist churches have redefined it as the years have gone by, each church has a clear definition and clear expectations for church membership. Some are so rigid they exclude and hurt more than build up the family of God. Others are so loose they are just short of meaningless, reducing being part of the church to something like club participation.

I don’t know where the line ought to be drawn, and I am not fool enough to open that proverbial can of worms in this space. But I know that there are many who are part of our NC Baptist church families, even if they “can’t vote in a business meeting.”

What classifies someone as “in the church family” rather than just being a “member of the church?” The “family of God” includes those whose church membership spans millions of local congregations of all stripes. I think the issue with membership is that we get caught up checking the wrong one. Can’t we just get together in worship and fellowship, break bread, and pray?

Remember the church that held me as a watch care member while I was attending my beloved Alma mater, Campbell University? Do you know why I chose it? There were many options close by for church attendance, but I chose that particular one not for programs or personalities. My choice was made simply because they fed me. For free. They gave a college student, living hand to mouth, a couple of doughnuts and a glass of orange juice once a week. They knew I wasn’t going to join their church, and yet the treated me like family.

That may not seem like sound theological reasoning...or maybe it does. "Continue steadfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers." (Acts 2:42, NKJV)


Shane Nixon is a lifelong NC Baptist. For the past 11 years, he has served NC Baptist churches in various roles at the denominational level. In his current role, he handles church and community relations for Baptist Retirement Homes of NC. Mixing in the occasional personal anecdote, Shane writes about things he sees, or more often hears, as the role of denominational servant allows him to canvas the state and visit churches from, as the old saying goes, “Murphy to Manteo.”